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Okay, so here is the thing...
You know that challenge I issued myself to read 25 books in 35 days, well unfortunately that little challenge has come to a screeching halt.
Some stuff is going down at work and, well, there is a slight possibility that I might loose my job. I would say the chances are 40/60. 40% being that I'm definitely loosing my job tomorrow.
And I'm totally freaking out right now.
I don't want to loose my job. I like my job. I don't always like what I do and sometimes it can be really frustrating and boring, but I really love the people I work with and we get along so well.
Plus, there is this whole thing I do that I really enjoy, it is called "paying my rent"! Yeah, I love being able to do that!
The bottom line is that if I do loose my job I'll be fine because I'll figure it out. I just really really don't want to have to figure it out. Not now. I have to take my car into the shop, I have bills that need to be paid. I can't figure this out right now. If I loose my job it changes everything. I mean I know I'll be fine, but in this economy and with everything going on right now there is no time table for "fine". "Fine" is not promised to me this week or next. It may take me a year to get back to "fine".
Oh, God, I'm freaking out.
Anyway, about the challenge. I'm calling it off because right now the last thing I can do is just come home and sit still and read. I need to be up and I need to be moving. I need to be distracted. I need instant gratification. I need a bottle of wine and The Notebook and then I'll be fine.
If it happens, it happens right?
Oh, God, I can't breath.
Anyway, when I first started typing this I was only going to say a little bit about what was going on and then do a quick review over The Great Gatsby, but I can't sit here any longer so that will have to wait.
I should be able to post again on Thursday so I can write about Gatsby then. But if by the grace of God I'm still employed by Thursday, keeping my job is going to require a lot of hard work on my part so I wont be able to commit to my reading schedule like I had hoped.
Anyway, I really need to move away from the computer now.
Thanks for letting me electronically cry on your shoulder.
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4 comments:
Well, I hope you don't lose your job! But try not to freak out. Everything will work out. Who knows, maybe you'll lose this job and the perfect Courtney job will come along and you'll make millions of dollars! ;) Let me know if you need anything.
I'll be praying for you!!!! I hope it all works out. But no matter what, you are already thinking about your what ifs and you WILL be fine.
OMGOMG!! I'm just now reading this post! What happened??!!
Bittner, trust me when I say that you will not be fired! Seriously, if Ame and I could skate by for years, than your hard working ass is fine! I know it's hard not to freak out, and I'm a worry wart too, but I trust that everything will be fine (and even if it's not I trust you to always land on your feet because when you're that full of awesome you don't just slam into the ground). My internet was down earlier this week, so I'm sorry I didn't respond earlier. Love you!!!!
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